Saturday, May 16, 2015

It's finally over!!

Friday 13 December 2013 started the worst, most stressful 16 months of our lives. It involved CYFS, Police (not til some 6 weeks of not knowing WTF was going on later), criminal lawyers, Youth Court, remortgaging the house, inordinate amounts of stress & the loss off the friendship of best friends. 

Somewhat ridiculously because of legal reasons, I am not actually allowed to give any details but basically, one messed up kid make an accusation against a member of our family, it was not true and there was never any way it was ever going to be so.

Despite the facts not adding up, to the point of it being actually impossible and there was no actual evidence - physical or otherwise, it ended up in court. 16 months of stress, $ 30,000+ to a lawyer, several court hearings, it ended up in a 3 day trial in court only for the charges to all be dismissed in a very categoric decision by the judge.

This almost tore our family apart and the emotional toll is huge. Gary basically had a breakdown, I tried to stay strong but there were days on end where I would be in tears on the trip to and from work, and any other time I was by myself. I lived on a steady diet of wine & chocolate, anything else made me sick. This was a factor in Samyson leaving school a year early, luckily he was accepted into uni early and is doing really well. Siobhan is stuck at the school with the F'd up kid which has thrown up a whole lot of challenges. 

I don't know what the other family involved were advised but we were advised not to discuss the matter with anyone, including each other. Way to add stress!! Those that I did tell were a huge strength and without them I am not sure I could have coped, the support and belief in his innocence got me through some pretty bad days. 

We were lucky inasmuch we found a fantastic lawyer (he & his staff were amazing, I would leave his office and actually feel better, despite any setbacks), we had enough money saved to pay for the initial fees (in the hope that the Crown would see there was no merit to their case) and enough equity in the house and reasonable incomes enough increase the mortgage for the $ 30,000 we needed to prove innocence - oh and BTW, we don't get anything back despite the whole case being a sham and even the original Police Officer involved after the verdict was delivered, gave us his condolences and said he was sorry we had to go through all that. 

Gary's family know and have been a support, during one of Gary's major meltdowns, I ended up on the phone with his family and they were amazing and I don't know that they realise how much I needed that conversation, Paul especially. He also phoned Samyson that same night and that support was the boost we all needed at the time.

Our friend Sue was one of the few people I told and she was unwavering in her support, to the point of taking time off work to come to court, which for the most part meant spending 3 days sitting outside the courtroom because we were not allowed in for the complainants evidence. Not only that but her friends and family had us in their prayers, these are people who know us only briefly but knowing that we had that support was a huge comfort.

We thought that as soon as the case was over, that would be the end of it but in actual fact, after living with this hanging over our heads for 16 months, it is kind of weird, there is a calmness and a relaxed atmosphere but almost like there is something wrong or missing. Even though we tried not to let it affect us or even permeate our thoughts unless we had to, it was always there, sometimes moreso than others. The anger and desire for revenge is gone, just a relief it is over for us, unfortunately not so much I suspect for the other family, I think their problems are only going to get worse - still - I can recommend a great criminal lawyer. 


Wednesday, January 14, 2015

More to worry about!!!

Samyson found a lump on his leg a couple of weeks ago and asked me to make a Doctors appointment to get it checked out. So off we went today, she took one look at it and said it is irregular shaped and she thinks it should be removed and tested ASAP.

We now have to wait a month for the surgeons appointment to have it removed (they will call us if it anything comes up sooner).

As if the kid doesn't have enough on his plate at the moment, I am not sure how he is going to cope with this, so far he is OK today but he was pretty down last night.

I will break the news Gary tonight.

EDIT: Lump removed, surgeon 99.9% sure it is nothing serious that the cells have killed themselves off and it is likely to have been a burst vessel. He is sending away for analysis just in case.

He was pretty sore that night, he had a show, I didn't realise they were doing Wednesdays. He has to move a lot of set and lift one of the other actors, he looked pretty miserable by the time I picked him up. Painkillers can only go so far. Luckily he didn't split his stitches or get blood on any of his costumes.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

NCEA Results

Samyson got his NCEA results today, overall Level 2 with Excellence endorsement. He has done really really well this year, especially considering other stuff that has been going on for him. I am really proud of him.

He is of to Uni next year to do a business degree - a year early as he isn't doing year 13 at school.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Back to Work :-(

Back to work tomorrow, shame really as I have enjoyed this break. During the holidays we have:
- been to the movies
- played mini golf
- walked around the Botanic Gardens
- ice cream at Pokeno
- 5 course degustation meal (with wine matches at Number 5)
- shopping
- cleaned the house (not that you would notice, still shedloads to do)
- lighthouse at Manukau Heads
- walk around Hobson Basin
- brunch and lunches out
- pizza night at the local
- brunches & lunches and dinners at home - new recipes tried and tested
- walk around Silo Park, Wynyard Quarter and the Viaduct
- tram ride
- visited MOTAT
- read 3 books and started on the 4th
- watched a whole TV series
- watched too much Biggest Loser, Real Housewives and Big Brother
- beach

I am sure I have missed some things off, we tried to strike a balance of getting out and doing stuff with just relaxing at home and I think we did pretty well.

All of the above done as a family, there has been heaps of laughs, no real arguments and I don't want it to be over. Having said that, I am looking forward to getting back to work, I have 3 days then I & G are away and Ash is away so I will have the place to myself.